[Korean Culture & Language] One picks cherry blossoms for the wife’s family

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For Korean women, the holidays may be one of the most stressful times of the year. Most Korean women experience ‘holiday blues’ as a result of the intense effort of cooking, serving, and cleaning. Some husbands make an effort to help, but it’s difficult since some elder Koreans in the family believe that men shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen. Even though fewer people believe it now and conditions have improved, the culture still exists.

The problem is that, despite all of their efforts on behalf of their husbands’ families, women often don’t get enough time to visit their own families. 

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There’s even an idiom ‘처갓집 세배는 앵두꽃을 꺾어 가지고 간다’. 

‘세배’ is a deep traditional bow where people wish their elders (grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles) a happy new year by performing a deep traditional bow and saying ‘새해 복 많이 받으세요 (Wishing you the best of luck in the new year)’.

‘처갓집’ is the ‘wife’s parents’ house’. 

‘앵두꽃’ means ‘cherry blossom’

So ‘처갓집 세배는 앵두꽃을 꺾어 가지고 간다’ is directly translated to “One picks cherry blossoms to 세배 to the wife’s family”. It could sound romantic without knowing what it means. But if you think about it, cherry blossoms normally bloom between April and May. It’s customary to visit families at the beginning of the year, not during the cherry blossom season in the spring. So the idiom describes a situation where the husbands put off visiting their wives’ families after visiting their own.

Similar idioms are: ’처갓집 세배는 보름 세고 간다 (It takes 15 days to go visit and 세배 to the wife’s family’ or ‘처갓집 세배는 살구꽃 따 가지고 간다 (One picks plum blossoms to 세배 to the wife’s family)’.

Divorce rates skyrocket around 설날(Lunar New Year) and 추석(Korean Thanksgiving). According to data from the National Court Administration, nearly twice as many couples file for divorce in the ten days leading up to and following family-oriented holidays. 

http://koreabizwire.com/divorce-soars-around-new-year-and-chuseok/107604#:~:text=Over%201%20in%2010%20divorces,day%20after%20the%20Chuseok%20holiday.

Sacrificing for someone you care about may show them how much you care while also making you feel good about yourself. However, it’s unhealthy for one person to keep sacrificing. Since family holidays can make one be jolly but also sensitive, couples should work together, praise, encourage, and listen to one another more attentively during the holidays than at other times.